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Friday, August 23 Front Page >> Random Rants >> To the Moon, Alice!
TO THE MOON, ALICE!

Jan 15, 2004, 1:45am

I see Gee Doublyah is looking for some of that Kennedy magic yesterday, what with his Space Announcements. I can just see the meetings in the White House recently.

Gee Doublyah is ranting, "Man, this whole battle against the axis of evil is killin' me in the polls. People think I'm all about hangin's and takin' out the evil dooers... we gotta change focus, folks! We gotta look back in history for inspiration! I got it! Kennedy! People loved him... lessee, what did he do... sleep with an intern. Nope. Sleep with Marilyn Monroe... she's dead, so I can't do that - can I? No. Hrmm. Marry Jackie O? Oh, she's dead too, I think. Nope. Wait a sec. I got it! To the moon, Colin! To the moon, Condoleeza! To the moon, Dick!"

Actually, I'm very, very jazzed about the prospect of humans going back to the moon and beyond. My first reaction when I saw the news on CBC Newsworld was "It's about fuggin' time!". Doesn't seem like a lot of bucks though... $12 Billion over five years? Isn't that about what the armed actions in Iraq cost in a couple of months?

Also, Bush couldn't quite pull a Kennedy. Kennedy gave NASA less than 9 years to get a man to the moon - remember at the time he announced it, the US still hadn't even put a man into space - but they got it done regardless. Bush couldn't pull a Kennedy - he gave NASA a whopping 16 years to get man BACK on the moon. I have a sneaky feeling the Chinese may beat them.

And as usual, there were plenty of naysayers against the plan, saying feed the poor and stuff. I say just take a tenth out of the US military budget and give it to NASA. Or better yet, 1/20th of the taxes on booze and cigarettes in the States - that should fill up NASA's coffers nicely :)

And some even think that the US has to beat evil plans by China to put some kinda laser death ray on the moon (or something like that). Ohh where's Austin Powers when you need him?

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