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Monday, January 20 Front Page >> Random Rants >> Confidence boosting?
CONFIDENCE BOOSTING?

Jun 22, 2003, 11:25pm

Lately, I've been really, really down on myself for putting way too much on my plate, thinking I could handle it, when in fact I couldn't.

We accepted way too many machines for the Detailed Review process over at CoffeeGeek. I'm so behind on them, it depresses the crap out of me.

I've taken on the sometimes monumental task of being a Committee member over the SCAA, organizing the even more monumental task of introducing a new membership category to the organization - the consumer member.

I've become deeply and passionately involved in promoting, encouraging and participating in Barista competitions in Canada and the US. I really want to elevate the role and position of the Barista to an art form and a respected, honoured position with the cafe culture that is blosoming in the Pacific Northwest and beyond.

I've been struggling to roll out a new company developing software applications for mobile platforms.

I've been trying to roll out a new version of the CoffeeGeek site.

Hell, I've been trying to spend some time with Jeanette.

In the past several months, I've been trying hard to be everyman - answering the nearly 100 emails a day I get from people seeking answers to coffee and espresso related questions; finding the appropriate (read: non-insulting) amount of time to stay and chat with individuals at trade shows; trying desperately not to give the "brush off" feel to anyone I talk to, and often failing; trying to get our local Baristi totally in tune with what it takes to be a world competitor, to the point where I sacrifice my entire weekends to them, as we go through the routine in the lab downstairs; getting in all my conference calls, all my calls to partners on the CoffeeGeek site, returning calls, initiating calls that I forgot to do the week before; remembering who I promised what; trying to remember that person's name and this person's wife's name (I am extremely bad at names - always have been); just trying to get a gulp of air once in a while.

Anyway, I'm getting a handle on it. But I also bought something last week. I won't say what it is, because I'm slightly embarrased to say (no, it's nothing embarrasing in a red faced way - more like a price way). It's something I've wanted since 1995, but could never justify buying. But the justification came last week, late last week, in the form of a very selfish reason, but also an incentive reason.

The selfish reason: I felt I needed a little (or not so little) reward for all the stuff I've tried to do over the past many moons.

The incentive reason? It's a tool I've given myself to redouble my efforts, become more productive, and spend more time with Jeanette. Think of the "string tied around your finger" to remind you of what you gotta do, because you committed to do it. Except this is a hella expensive string (and no, it's not some high technology thing - I got enough of those toys :)

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