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Friday, August 23 Front Page >> Random Rants >> 3 years ago...
3 YEARS AGO...

Oct 25, 2006, 10:15am

Something strange just happened.

For some reason, my cell phone, which I sync'ed a few days ago with long neglected (for good reason) Outlook, popped up a calendar item.

"Flight to Ottawa, 11:55"

It took me a second to realise what that was about. It was third last flight I took to Ottawa to see my Mom while she was still alive. Something screwed up, showing a reminder from 3 years ago.

That late fall visit - one that made me miss several coffee shows (something I didn't consider important then or now) was the one I made after spending some of the summer with my Mom. By this time, she was in a hospice, and was on a slow decline.

Watching someone fade away with terminal cancer is not a pretty thing. In fact, it's one of the most horrible experiences of my life. But you know what? During that time, I saw this amazing strength and resolve in my Mom. She had decided some time before to end chemo, and she had a relatively decent summer, because the ravages of radiation poisoning had ended... but the cancer had come back in full force. She had given up on chemo, and was resigned to what was in store for her. But she was the strongest of all of us - her sons, her husband, her family. I know she had her sad moments - I spent a lot of time with her before and after she went into the hospice and I saw the briefest moments of dispair - but almost all the time, I saw a defiant, "this is my fate, I'm accepting it, and I will make the most of my time" attitude within her. I saw the strongest person I had ever seen in that fall visit, 3 years ago.

I have lots of stumbles in life. I do my share of petty bickering. I have my weak moments. But I promised myself in the past that I'd remember my Mother from that fall season, 3 years ago - and the inner strength she had, and the absolutely selfless way she carried herself. I've forgotten that promise at times... but somehow, today, a glitch and a bug in my cell phone sync with my computer made me remember all over again.

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