Dec 05, 2004, 1:50am

Sick as a dawg right now (what the heck does that mean anyway)... with the flu.

Having the flu is weird. You start to think about things in different ways. Your mind wanders, but you also see things, I dunno. differently. I guess having the flu is as close as I'll get to experiencing what life is like under hallucinogenic drugs.

Like, should I say what's really going on in my life here? Normal, non-flu Mark would say (and has been saying) no... but what the heck.

I've made some references here and there, under the cuff as it were, about Jeanette and I breaking up some time ago. We broke up right before my Mom passed away. My Mom, and my ten+ year relationship, gone. Not a good year.

But I do count myself as being fortunate that Jeanette and I struggled through some ackward times since then, and remain friends. In fact, we try to be best friends, something neither of us did during the last few years of our relationship. There are struggles and there are challenges, but (I apologise for speaking for her here - maybe she can leave a comment to say if I'm right or not), we both genuinely like and still have much love for each other and want to be friends for the rest of our lives.

Beata Collage style pic I did of Beata, to give to her Mom as a framed print.

I've also met someone else in the last few months, someone I'm growing quite fond of. Her name is Beata, and she's a Polish immigrant to Canada (12 years here now). We're discovering what each other is about, and in many ways, I think I've learned from some of my past mistakes and now I'm applying them to this new budding relationship. It's strange. Since 1994 or thereabouts, Jeanette has been the sole woman in my life... see, I was friendly with my past girlfriends, but they all lived in Ottawa or other parts of the country. Now I have a situation where I want to remain solid, good friends with one woman, and pursue what could be a long, long relationship with another.

For Beata, this is a bit of an issue, but one she's working on herself - she (and her friends) don't maintain much contact with their ex's, and one of her friends said something along the lines of "if he still talks to the ex, he hasn't gotten over her, and you're just temporary".

I say, don't always listen to your friends. :)

In addition to this, I have a real struggle "dating". I don't date. Haven't dated much in the traditional sense. I usually just fall into a relationship, without much of the formal rituals of dating. It's so bad that at times, I check online resources for "how to date", but when I read them, it's like, it's so not me! and I move on.

Today, I was sick. And when you're really sick, you want someone to take care of you. I wanted Beata to be that person, but I had a committment today - taking one of my employees out to dinner with his fiance, and with Jeanette, who still works with WebMotif and CoffeeGeek. Jeanette knew I was sick and volunteered to come over and take Marzocco out for a walk before we went, but she got tied up with a visit from her friend Wanda and Wanda's newborn, Russell. She didn't make it here in time, and I drove to the dinner by myself, in a condition I probably shouldn't have driven in.

But one thing I have learned is that while Jeanette and I are friends and hope to be that way for life, I cannot depend on her like I used to. It's not fair to her, or to me.

After the dinner, we were back at my place (the dinner party) for a bit, but they left, and I had a choice to make - just collapse, or call Beata up and basically be a little crying schoolboy.

I chose the latter :) And she came over right away, and took care of me for a couple of hours, walked my dog, fussed and mussed over me, and when I was sort of drifting off, she decided to go home, but only after making sure I was comfortable for the night.

I feel heaps better already :)

3 comments | reply

Mixelania

Photos from Algonquin Park
Photos from my trip to Algonquin Park this fall with my Mom and two brothers.

War Stories

Making Snow for the Fortress
One of the worst jobs I ever had... till I got out.

Webiffied

Tools I Use
The tools I use to build websites and lead a tech life.

iPod and iTunes Offline

iMark's iTunes and iPod isn't iPlaying anything right iNow.

Most Recent Songs

Fiddlers Green by The Tragically Hip

Around The Bend by Pearl Jam

Here With Me (Rollo's Chillin' With the Family Mix) by Dido

With arms open wide by Creed

truffle pigs by Matthew Good Band

In the News

Burundi and Beyond - NY Times
Great article by Peter Meehan - provided some background.

St. Petersburg Times
Side mention in an article about good machines

AP Story on Espresso
Background and information provided

NY Times - Grinders Article
Especially proud of this one - got the reporter to focus on grinders

Globe and Mail
LOL - showing bad reporting, dude says I'm an American-based site!

The Olympian, WA
Talks about my love for the El Sal Siberia Pacamara

Seattle Times - Clover
Interviewed for comments on the Clover brewer

NY Times - How it Works
Background and information for various espresso machines

Time Mag Article
Just a brief mention, article about roasting beans.

NY Times
Front page article about consumers getting into specialty coffee.

Washington Monthly
Quoted reference to what I wrote in an article at CoffeeGeek.

USA Today - Barista Jam
Intereviewed for my thoughts on what the epitome of espresso is.

WSJ Article
The Wall Street Journal has interviewed me 3 times. This is the first time my name got in a story.

Reuters Interview
Interview with Reuters, Jan 2 - this is the USA Today version.

My Other Stuff

CoffeeGeek
Launched Dec 22, 2001, this is THE online community for espresso and coffee fanatics.

CoffeeKid Website
It's all new, as of March, 2002. My personal coffee obsession site.

WebMotif Services
My company's site - needs an update!

Amazon WishList
Hey, if you feel the need to buy me something, check here!

Daily Visits

enGadget
Great gadget site run by the guy who used to do Gizmodo.

Google News
This is how I get my daily news fix.

DPReview Forums`
The most active forums for digital photography online today.

Daily Zen
Need my Daily Zen fix!

Jalopnik
A blog about car stuff. Vroom Vroom.

MoCo Loco
An industrial design blog. Very cool stuff.

Friends and Family Plan

Beata Blog
Beata's got her own blog! She updates it most days.

Riddla on Flickr
Matt Riddle's flickr account, updated regularly

Irdy Photos
Irdy, my friend from Jakharta, on Flickr

Recent Acquisitions

Canon EF 24-105 f4 L Lens
The best lens I've ever owned. Super sharp and quick.

Canon 5D
A full frame dSLR, with luscious colour reproduction.

Alzo Digital Lights
Some amazing florescent cold lights for product photography

Canon Xsi dSLR
Amazing technology and image quality in a tiny package.

Canon 40D
Latest prosumer camera from Canon - a much better upgrade than the 30D

Fujitsu P1610
Great 2.2lb computer that does most of my travel / writing needs

28mm f1.8 Lens
A great lens for closeup work and full picture photography

Foodsaver Advanced
Finally got the right tools for freezing green coffee.

Canon 50mm 1.4
Most amazing lens I've ever owned. Produces stellar photos.

Canon 10-22mm
Super wide angle (full frame fisheye) zoom for my Canon 20D