Donovan Bailey is Really, Really Fast

Well it’s June now, and it’s been some time since I last wrote a rant. Sorry.

I’ve been very busy today with a few things, so that’s why this update is very late. I’ve been working on a mock up site for a local clothing designer, and Tuesday, the owners check it out. If they like it, I make big bucks. If they don’t, I make $200. Oh well. I have to admit, it’s nowhere near my best work – I’ve been suffering major design-block all week and weekend, and it’s probably because of the troubles I described yesterday.

As Jeanette said to me earlier today, it’s been a good day for Canadian racers. First, Greg Moore, local BC lad (Maple Ridge) scored his first ever CART series victory at the Miller 200 today (CART is IndyCar racing for the uninitiated). He was ecstatic at the finish line, and as a true show of class, one of the first people to congratulate him was Jimmy Vasser, the third place finisher.

But, still proving that even though his father Mario has all the class in the world, he has none, Michael Andretti, who came in second, had these comments about Greg’s win: “I can’t believe he drove all that distance on that one tank – there’s something wrong here.” What a classy guy that Mike is.

And the other fast Canadian today was Donovan Bailey. I have to let all your Americans know something – see, Donovan is the world’s fastest human. He won the 100 meters at the Atlanta Games, and holds the world record. He is the world’s fastest person. Now, you might be confused because Michael Johnson, he of big mouth, has been spewing for months since the Atlanta Games that he in fact is the world’s fastest man, but sorry, he isn’t. Everyone knows and generally agrees (except for Johnson) that whoever holds the world record in the 100 meters track event is the fastest. For years, your buddy Carl Lewis claimed this, and we grugingly accepted it.

Anyway, to get to my point, because Canadians as a whole and Bailey in particular were getting tired of Johnson’s big mouth, a challenge was issued to race. Johnson accepted with stipulations – the race would be 150 meters, halfway between Bailey’s 100 specialty and Johnson’s 200. The race had to go on a curved track, to Bailey’s disadvantage. And Johnson drew the outer lane, the preferred one. Bailey agreed to it all.

Today was the big race. The testing ground. The show of mettle. But when it came time to show it, Johnson crapped out. Here’s how the race unfolded. Out of the blocks, Bailey got a 2-3 foot lead within about 30 meters. By 60 meters, he was clearly out front. By 80 meters, Johnson saw he had no hope in hell of catching the world’s fastest human, so, instead of taking defeat like a man, he grabs his leg muscle and pulls up, dropping out of the race. The leg muscle cramp was complete bullshit – Johnson saw he was losing, and instead of crossing the line like a man, he took the coward’s way out. He couldn’t admit that Bailey beat him fair and square, so he uses an injury as his excuse. It made me sick, but it also showed me, once again, that loudmouths often can’t stand the heat when they lose.

Oh well, after that pleasant note, I have to say, as a racing fan, it’s been a great day for me, and I can’t wait to hear Johnson’s “excuses” on the late night news!

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